Yoda Quote for the Day - Fear

We all need some Yoda, don't we?

Here you go...

Episode I

Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. I sense much fear in you.
-Yoda

In Episode III:

Yoda: The fear of loss is the pathway to the darkside. Attachment leads to jealousy, the shadow of greed that is.

Anakin: I won't let these dreams become real.

Yoda: Death is a natual part of life. Rejoice for those around you who transform into the Force. Mourn them do not, miss them do not.

Anakin: What must I do, Master Yoda?

Yoda: Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose.

What are you hanging onto too tightly? A thing? A concept? A behavior?
What would it give you to release your grip? What does holding fast cost you?

ZFB* Update

*(ZFB= zit for brains)

I've now run the gamut of ER, MD (GP), DC, Bad Neuro, Endo, Good Neuro and will make another stop at ND before the trip is over. All I need is a loaf of bread, a nice manchego cheese, and a bottle of Merlot and my meal of alphabet soup will be complete.

At the "Good Neuro's" office yesterday, I was told that the zit is not worthy of time nor concern. No need to take a second look unless I can't look up, down and sideways without moving my head to do so. No reason for the icicle drippy feeling, no reasons for the rest of my "not quite me" feelings.

He told me that the stress of an extrovert in isolation (as we mom-trepreneurs often endure), having a busy/noisy mind (that sometimes wanders into dark and ugly spaces without being checked with what's true), and feeling I must stay sedintary at my PC can cause a lot of stress. So part of his perscription was yoga, meditation and doing more drive-bys (doing for others reduces stress, did you know that?)

Throughout all of this, I'm reminded to be grateful. Grateful for friends who encourage me to know that I'm the master of domain (so to speak...) and only I know my body best. If this isn't "normal," I need to keep pressing on until I get to a root cause.

Patience, of course, is not one of my best skills. Given that irritability is one of my largest symptoms, I truly embody Bill Cosby's wife as he describes her in Fatherhood... stop it. Stop It! STOP IT!!! That's me at least once a day.

I did make a bit of a breakthrough yesterday. After using the glucose monitor, signs may be pointing in the direction of hypoglycemia, which in and of it self is not a diagnosis, but will help us go backwards to find the cause of the low blood sugar. Something is out of balance.

I'm all about balance. Could dance on the arm of a chair for hours in college and I've been dubbed "Limbo Queen" even though I have not defended my title in the last 5 or 6 years.

So it looks like I'm not as sweet as I used to be. I hear as one nears 40, a good deal of the overt "sweet" is filtered out. I'd like to keep the "sweet" that's on the inside, though... no matter what happens. We'll take this one step at a time.

I'll keep you posted as I keep literally and figuratively poking along.

Breaking My Own Rules – Mom-trepreneur’s in Time Out!

“Not a catastrophe -- just another tricky day.”

This is an expression my dad uses a lot to answer life’s adversities. The “tricky day” perspective can keep us from swirling the drain, but sometimes, enough tricky days in a row can lead to a downright catastrophe-- or at least what seems like one.

Over the last couple of months, I’ve let some things slide. It began with my work schedule getting shuffled. Losing a few hours here and there for doctor’s appointments, for medical self-advocacy, sick children, extinguishing personal fires, taking a much needed respite, etc.

The time spent in the office was scattered as well. I was changing focus, shifting gears, letting “home business” seep into “office business.” Then I stopped using my desk system and somehow, eventually started making multiple lists with duplicate items. This is an organized coach’s nightmare.

I had a revelation this morning. I went to my desk, which was embarrassingly covered in paper crap. As I sorted, I found 6 lists in varying degrees of completion, school announcements, the PTA notes, medical bills to fight and an overdue water bill (only technically 8 hrs overdue, but still.) So I ventured to the checkbook, and finding it void of checks, proceeded to the box of fresh books of checks to find that empty as well and then declared, “TIME OUT!”

While my single goal for the day was to get a long overdue Gem to my readers by day’s end, I had to stop the insanity. One habit broken had led to a domino effect of chaotic slide.

I’m sharing this with all of you so that you can be assured that routines and habits work. And, knowing that that do, we can find comfort in getting back into them when all hell’s broken loose at home and work.

I recovered my desk in 35 minutes. I looked a fast-forwarded movie, but I now have checks on the way, papers recycled/filed, two functional (*see below) lists – work and personal, a clean desktop and a paid water bill.

*I took all my lists, circled the unfinished items that mattered and wrote each item on a new list (done on an 8.5 x 3” scrap of recycled paper, you know the backs of all that wasted paper from school notes, I fold it in half twice for notes and grocery lists). Then I brain-dumped the rest of what’s keeping me scattered.

Follow up with new contacts, vacuum floors, wash the sinks, make Christmas giving list, search for gift items online, call church regarding coat donation location, finalize Thanksgiving menu, fight with insurance company. With my handy dandy scissors, I cut each item off the list. Now I could categorize. Today, I went simply, business, and personal. I could break it down all kinds of ways, really. Household, business, kids, night projects, personal care, time it takes to complete – it depends on the day.

Then I found some trusty rubber cement. (Instead of scraps of paper, you can use tiny sticky notes, whatever works.) I made a strip of that smelly stuff down the middle of a new scrap. I then spread all the scraps on my very clean desk and sorted them by personal and business, then prioritized, affixing the most important item to the top of each list and continuing down. Once an item is finished, I can rip it off and toss it. I can reorder and add if need be.

Lovely. I feel so much better after my time out (even if I am still dreading my fight with the insurance company!)

What habits need resurrecting in your house?

If you need a quick habit rescue, call me. The first person to call before December 1 gets a free ½ hour of coaching.

Love Generously - Drive-by Style

I've been doing a few drive-bys lately. Not the violent kind. The kindness kind.

I was recently the receiver of a few drive-bys as well. A drive-by shoe-ing (my daughter received a coveted pair of "farmin shoes" from over the stateline) and a drive-by gift certificate-ing.

I've made loads of applesauce (from very tasty FREE apples from an unsprayed tree, truly Heaven-sent) and acquired a load of squash recently (a literal trunk-load to be precise). So I've been sharing here and there as well.

My folks did a drive-by pie-ing last week to retaliate for the drive-by farm-shoe-ing. I couldn't participate in that one. (Bummer!)

I've been rightfully charged with drive-by huggings and kissings as well.

I'm planning a drive-by to a long lost friend soon. It will be very unexpected and perhaps unrecognized. That's not the point. I will have giggles in my heart, hoping that my friend will remember the joy and let go of the rest.

Do you have someone who needs a drive-by?
Who'd like to play the game with me? Rack up some drive-by points? Leave stuff on unsuspecting people's porches and doorsteps? C'mon, it's fun.

Tell on yourself in the comment section.

Who's in? Most points wins a fun prize... don't be lame!

Love Generously - Surplus in Scarcity

I’m still exploring this one. It’s been a long explore. The word “generous” keeps stumping me. Maybe it’s our current environment. Maybe it’s that I’m digging too deeply into the concept (i.e. if one has an abundance of something and gives extra away, is it as generous as one who has just a little and shares anyway?)

So I switched gears and began exploring love instead. Love languages to be precise. I’ve confirmed my own and have been trying to be more conscious of knowing and respecting the languages of those around me.

Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages outlines these:
• Words of Affirmation
• Quality Time
• Receiving Gifts
• Acts of Service
• Physical Touch

So, what I’ve been thinking is that to truly love generously, one has to be willing to know what the receiver would most like AND be willing to provide that even when it’s not something one’s good at, or enjoys doing, It also may mean giving a resource you aren’t certain you possess, like extra time.

My 6 year old absolutely loves making looper pot holders and plastic cross-stitch doohickies. That stuff drives me batty. Sometimes loving her generously means being sure that it’s in the bag that goes with her to Grandma’s house, or making sure that her very patient dad is around to help her before she embarks on a new project. Other times, it’s stopping whatever I’m doing and sitting “pretzel leg” on the floor to help her through the beginning or end of whatever poorly written directions she’s trying to follow.

Later, she tells me it was the very best part of her day. Those measly 15 minutes. And I think to myself, “how stingy can I BE?” Yes, I’m a busy lady. Yes, I often feel a shortage of time and other resources, but the little girl’s language is quality time. A smidge of my day spent right in her face.

Can do.

Will do more often.

How about you? What is it that you could give? What “foreign language” are you willing to learn?

p.s. My daughter loves me generously right back by understanding when I say “no” to her craft and then asking if she can help me make dinner.