Love Generously - Zit for Brains

So I’ve been wracking my brain (which is under the weather anyway) to understand the concept of loving generously. What does it mean to me?

Is it about gifts? What kind of gifts? Gifts of the heart? Things we do for one another? Is it about “things” at all? What is generosity anyhow? It is freely giving what you have and while still remaining comfortable? Or is it about sacrifice and giving even if it means a temporary state of lack?

Pretty ponderous.

I’ve been quiet on The Chest because I couldn’t think of anything outrageously thoughtful or uplifting to bring to you. Not very real of me, I’m afraid. I’d be the first person to tell a friend that we love each other for our reality. We love the guts – good, bad and ugly. That’s what it is to love generously. You love even when you’re not sure how, even when you’re unsure if you can. Even when it’s scary.

So I have something to get “on my chest” in this case. (I’ve been “off” The Chest for too long!) Here’s what up.

You know how you feel the day after a baby (or neighbor, or work) has kept you up all night? Function is difficult, temper is short, thoughts don’t connect, memory fails, your inner monologue fails and you find yourself saying things that would otherwise be filtered. You know in your heart that going back to bed would be the best bet, but you can’t do that because you have a home and business to run. This is what the last month has felt like for me.

I gave my husband permission to call me “zit for brains.” I have an 8mm cyst on my brain (pineal gland to be precise) and we’re trying to remain humorous about it until we know what happens next. The pineal gland controls melatonin, so among other things, I get tired quickly. I’ve been under care for a while trying to diagnose what’s going on and this was found somewhat by accident. My chiropractor believes I may have adrenal fatigue syndrome which could account for the many symptoms I’ve had in the recent past. The cyst may or may not be a part of that.

Surgery is possible, but not eminent at this point. (If you put your finger in the middle of your forehead and go in about an inch or two, that’s where the pineal gland is. They’d go in through the nose (or “snort holes” as my daughter calls them…) so at least there would be no cracking of the melon.) We should know more next month after a visit to an endocrinologist and a neurologist.

For now, we wait. (And dream up ways to find it funny.)

Part of my silence about this has been about fear. What will my clients and others think about a coach with a zit on her brain? Will they trust me? So, to be sure, I have the following very much under control:
• Honesty (my inner monologue is pretty gone!)
• An intense focus on what matters
• A desire to keep things moving forward

Loving generously is, among other things, being real, being honest, sharing one's whole self. Perhaps the zit is a gift. Here, here’s permission to uncork your inner monologue and just say what’s really going on in there.

What’s going on in your head? How do you love generously?

My Own Personal Energy Crisis

I’m an energy girl.

When I was a kid, my folks had window shades that blocked out most of the morning, but any tiny ray of light that squeaked around the shade made it right into my eyes. They’d fling open and I’d have my feet on the floor in a nanosecond, ready to begin a new day.

Since this was typically NOT the time the rest of the household was moving, it was not looked at as “a gift.” As I got older, though, being a morning person had its merits.

Recently, I’ve been experiencing some health challenges which have made getting out of bed, and waking in general, a huge challenge. Cheerful is somewhat off the table until a cup of coffee is in the mama.

This shift is tough to take, for me as well as for those who must endure me prior to 8am. I’ve tried to run during the bewitching moments so that no one else suffers. Hard to hoist the kiester.

Gas prices what they are, perhaps I'm just following the trend.

Anyone have some great ideas for this energy girl to solve her current personal energy crisis?

How do you wake ready to start the day? What's your current mantra?

Living Simply or Simply Living?

On the suggestion of another coach, I read some of Tony Robbins work. Awaken the Giant Within.

What struck me the most was his stress on the importance of making decisions. Often, I watch clients say they’ve “decided” something, but then there is no action to back it up. Tony reminded me that a decision is so much more than we toss around.

“I’d like to spend more time face to face with my kids.”
“I’d like to get a solid product line for which I’m well known.”
“I’d like to decrease my overhead.”

These are more like wishes than decisions. Tony states, “the word “decision” comes from the Latin roots de, which means “from,” and caedere, which means “to cut.” Making a true decision means committing to achieving a result, and then cutting yourself off from any other possibility.” (p.39)

When times get ugly, it becomes easier (but certainly not always more productive) to just roll with the punches and become reactive… simply living. When people ask how you’re doing, you say, “I’m doing” with no particular passion.

Grab hold and get back to what matters most to you. Then cut the rope and paddle!

Make a decision based on your core values.

Put action to the decision immediately.

Be flexible in the execution of the decision.

Don’t abandon what you’re after if the first rout you take proves unsuccessful.

To explore your core values or examine the choices you face, drop me a line. I’ll help reel you in!

Live Simply – Consuming

I’m feeling particularly “bloggy” today. Perhaps it’s the chill in the air. Maybe it’s just that there’s so much to be said for living simply. I strive for it, even if I often fail.

I was reminded of Steve Martin in “The Jerk” the other day. He’s naked and leaving his exorbitant house after losing everything in a terrible lawsuit. As he leaves, he takes a pen or something trivial and says, “and that’s all I need. Just this pen.” As he moves towards the door, he keeps accumulating things he “needs.” “And this ashtray, and this dog, and this…” Mind you, he’s naked. None of the things he’s taking with him are clothes!

I often pack for a trip like The Jerk. And then I laugh at myself. That’s not half as bad as using his method while shopping at the grocery store or at Wal-Mart or Target. I’m trying to train the kids away from the The Jerk shopping method.

The Jerk antidote? A list. (And a bit of will power.)

What’s simple consuming for you?

Live Simply - Simple Scheduling

When my volume increases, my heart pounds and my shoulders get closer to my ears than to my armpits, I know it’s time to cut back on activities.

My idea of living simply in this season for my family is to allow one regularly scheduled recurring event per person (work and school don’t count). So, the kids can have one lesson or club at a time, and we parents get a recurring extra-curricular to do by ourselves as well.

As the kids get older, I realize the expectations will probably change. Right now, our value is on training them to be good people at home and easing them into the world of influence. Believe me, they come home with enough “influence” already. “Where on earth did you hear/see THAT?!”

We do simple activities. Having people to dinner teaches hospitality. Being a guest at someone else’s home teaches them to be grateful and flexible and accepting of differences. We help at our parents’ farms, learning that everyone can contribute. Planting and harvest times are especially fun. And we have times to just be still.

What are your values for your family’s schedule? Is it living simply or something else? I’d love your thoughts.

Live Simply - Motetes

I mentioned last week that a lot of my writing is about my new mantra. “Live Simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.”

When I ponder “living simply,” a few things come up for me. First, THINGS come up. You know… stuff, crap, the junk in my closets, littering the yard, in bins. The treasures we keep that end up keeping us.

I was given a large LLBean boat bag when each my girls were born. The monogram was the same on each. Motetes. In Puerto Rico, where my mom is from, this is a slang word for all the necessary things one must have with her for security and comfort. You know, like a blankie and a teddy, maybe a toothbrush if dental hygiene is your thing.

It was a joke of sorts since my mom knew that any time we came for the day, I’d have more than a full Motetes bag of stuff with me. Babies don’t travel light! As we’ve grown past diapers and sippies and the rest, it’s refreshing to have the occasional single Motetes bag trip.

As I look at the rest of my stuffness, I realize that it’s just that, stuff. In the end, I can’t take it with me, no matter how many Motetes bags I own. Although I can’t bring myself to give it ALL up (like a monk), I have set some boundaries for myself. Here are just a few examples:

A sedan should do it. No van, no SUV, and absolutely NO station wagon.

I’ve hit “bin saturation” in my attic. No more bins. If I need to store something, it has to fit in the bins I have. No bins empty? Too bad, either chuck something or get rid of the latest “treasure.”

Digital photos take up far less space than kid artwork. We’ll be having artwork ceremonies… choosing the favs and photographing them with the artist.

One mailed magazine subscription a year. The rest of the info I can get online if I really need it.

Let’s face it, what do I really, truly need? Who is it I’m working for anyway? If I curled up either of my girls in a ball (even the 6 ½ year old!), ten to one… they’d fit in the bag.

More thoughts on living simply coming up soon.

What are your simple boundaries?

Dance in the Rain

"Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass...it’s about learning how to dance in the rain." Unknown

I love that one!

For the past two days, we've experienced a 30+ degree drop in temp and it's poured and poured. We've needed rain badly. After the first day and a half, we'd had about enough to saturate and then some. The previously cracking ground is now muddy and squishy and the Robins are loving it.

Last week my family soaked up a bit too much sun while trying to squeeze in every last drop of summer swimming and outdoor rec. The rain forced us to spend time indoors and rediscover all the wintertime activities we'd left in the attic last spring. For me it was quite welcomed. I'm sorting and purging baby clothes up there.

I have a client who's experienced a different kind of storm. It's raining orders for her business. They're coming from all over! While this is a wonderful situation, it's also overwhelming for her. With school and all it's activities starting, she feels like she's dashing around with buckets to catch the downpour! We brainstormed creative ways to make time and produce more products quickly. During the call, we moved from the perspective of "If only this were different... then it would all be better" to "Be present and focused with the blessings at hand and trust that the rest will follow."

Dance in the rain.

How can you dance in the rain of your current situation?