Breaking My Own Rules – Mom-trepreneur’s in Time Out!

“Not a catastrophe -- just another tricky day.”

This is an expression my dad uses a lot to answer life’s adversities. The “tricky day” perspective can keep us from swirling the drain, but sometimes, enough tricky days in a row can lead to a downright catastrophe-- or at least what seems like one.

Over the last couple of months, I’ve let some things slide. It began with my work schedule getting shuffled. Losing a few hours here and there for doctor’s appointments, for medical self-advocacy, sick children, extinguishing personal fires, taking a much needed respite, etc.

The time spent in the office was scattered as well. I was changing focus, shifting gears, letting “home business” seep into “office business.” Then I stopped using my desk system and somehow, eventually started making multiple lists with duplicate items. This is an organized coach’s nightmare.

I had a revelation this morning. I went to my desk, which was embarrassingly covered in paper crap. As I sorted, I found 6 lists in varying degrees of completion, school announcements, the PTA notes, medical bills to fight and an overdue water bill (only technically 8 hrs overdue, but still.) So I ventured to the checkbook, and finding it void of checks, proceeded to the box of fresh books of checks to find that empty as well and then declared, “TIME OUT!”

While my single goal for the day was to get a long overdue Gem to my readers by day’s end, I had to stop the insanity. One habit broken had led to a domino effect of chaotic slide.

I’m sharing this with all of you so that you can be assured that routines and habits work. And, knowing that that do, we can find comfort in getting back into them when all hell’s broken loose at home and work.

I recovered my desk in 35 minutes. I looked a fast-forwarded movie, but I now have checks on the way, papers recycled/filed, two functional (*see below) lists – work and personal, a clean desktop and a paid water bill.

*I took all my lists, circled the unfinished items that mattered and wrote each item on a new list (done on an 8.5 x 3” scrap of recycled paper, you know the backs of all that wasted paper from school notes, I fold it in half twice for notes and grocery lists). Then I brain-dumped the rest of what’s keeping me scattered.

Follow up with new contacts, vacuum floors, wash the sinks, make Christmas giving list, search for gift items online, call church regarding coat donation location, finalize Thanksgiving menu, fight with insurance company. With my handy dandy scissors, I cut each item off the list. Now I could categorize. Today, I went simply, business, and personal. I could break it down all kinds of ways, really. Household, business, kids, night projects, personal care, time it takes to complete – it depends on the day.

Then I found some trusty rubber cement. (Instead of scraps of paper, you can use tiny sticky notes, whatever works.) I made a strip of that smelly stuff down the middle of a new scrap. I then spread all the scraps on my very clean desk and sorted them by personal and business, then prioritized, affixing the most important item to the top of each list and continuing down. Once an item is finished, I can rip it off and toss it. I can reorder and add if need be.

Lovely. I feel so much better after my time out (even if I am still dreading my fight with the insurance company!)

What habits need resurrecting in your house?

If you need a quick habit rescue, call me. The first person to call before December 1 gets a free ½ hour of coaching.

Love Generously - Drive-by Style

I've been doing a few drive-bys lately. Not the violent kind. The kindness kind.

I was recently the receiver of a few drive-bys as well. A drive-by shoe-ing (my daughter received a coveted pair of "farmin shoes" from over the stateline) and a drive-by gift certificate-ing.

I've made loads of applesauce (from very tasty FREE apples from an unsprayed tree, truly Heaven-sent) and acquired a load of squash recently (a literal trunk-load to be precise). So I've been sharing here and there as well.

My folks did a drive-by pie-ing last week to retaliate for the drive-by farm-shoe-ing. I couldn't participate in that one. (Bummer!)

I've been rightfully charged with drive-by huggings and kissings as well.

I'm planning a drive-by to a long lost friend soon. It will be very unexpected and perhaps unrecognized. That's not the point. I will have giggles in my heart, hoping that my friend will remember the joy and let go of the rest.

Do you have someone who needs a drive-by?
Who'd like to play the game with me? Rack up some drive-by points? Leave stuff on unsuspecting people's porches and doorsteps? C'mon, it's fun.

Tell on yourself in the comment section.

Who's in? Most points wins a fun prize... don't be lame!

Love Generously - Surplus in Scarcity

I’m still exploring this one. It’s been a long explore. The word “generous” keeps stumping me. Maybe it’s our current environment. Maybe it’s that I’m digging too deeply into the concept (i.e. if one has an abundance of something and gives extra away, is it as generous as one who has just a little and shares anyway?)

So I switched gears and began exploring love instead. Love languages to be precise. I’ve confirmed my own and have been trying to be more conscious of knowing and respecting the languages of those around me.

Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages outlines these:
• Words of Affirmation
• Quality Time
• Receiving Gifts
• Acts of Service
• Physical Touch

So, what I’ve been thinking is that to truly love generously, one has to be willing to know what the receiver would most like AND be willing to provide that even when it’s not something one’s good at, or enjoys doing, It also may mean giving a resource you aren’t certain you possess, like extra time.

My 6 year old absolutely loves making looper pot holders and plastic cross-stitch doohickies. That stuff drives me batty. Sometimes loving her generously means being sure that it’s in the bag that goes with her to Grandma’s house, or making sure that her very patient dad is around to help her before she embarks on a new project. Other times, it’s stopping whatever I’m doing and sitting “pretzel leg” on the floor to help her through the beginning or end of whatever poorly written directions she’s trying to follow.

Later, she tells me it was the very best part of her day. Those measly 15 minutes. And I think to myself, “how stingy can I BE?” Yes, I’m a busy lady. Yes, I often feel a shortage of time and other resources, but the little girl’s language is quality time. A smidge of my day spent right in her face.

Can do.

Will do more often.

How about you? What is it that you could give? What “foreign language” are you willing to learn?

p.s. My daughter loves me generously right back by understanding when I say “no” to her craft and then asking if she can help me make dinner.

Save some dough, do it from scratch!

I met Connie a few weeks ago in Lake Geneva. This lady has the goods on making things from scratch. Her book is written like she's standing in your kitchen helping you along the way. She's a busy woman (author, actress, speaker, trainer, AND gourmet chef), so don't think you can't do make your own from scratch just because you're working!

In June, she was highlighted in the Chicago Sun Times. "If you can't stand the expense, get back in the kitchen!" GREAT tips for stretching your bucks in the kitchen! Here are just a few:

Learn, re-learn or resume cooking from scratch while foregoing more expensive convenience foods and dining out.

Change drinking habits: Switch from bottled water and/or soda pop to tap water and brew your own coffee and tea, foregoing stops at specialty coffee/tea shops.

"Plan, plan, plan."

Cut up your own carrot and celery sticks rather than buying pre-cut carrots and celery; chop your own onions rather than buying frozen chopped onions; chop your own garlic; grate your own cheese.

Toast day-old bread for breadcrumbs.

Make your own granola and pizza.

And one of my favorites... make your own birthday cake rather than spending a ton at the bakery.

To see the whole article, drop me a line and I'll pass it along.

Click here for more about Connie and her new book, Scratch That: Seasonal Menus and Perfect Pairings.

For all you heroes out there...

"Your life is not little, and your playing small doesn't serve the world. Your living large, on the other hand -- your being your true self despite fear, fatigue, doubt, and opposition -- will serve the world more than you can imagine. In fact, it may help save it. And saving the world, after all, is what all heroes (including you) are here to do."

Martha Beck, in O Magazine

Where could you be bigger in your life?

Love Generously - Zit for Brains

So I’ve been wracking my brain (which is under the weather anyway) to understand the concept of loving generously. What does it mean to me?

Is it about gifts? What kind of gifts? Gifts of the heart? Things we do for one another? Is it about “things” at all? What is generosity anyhow? It is freely giving what you have and while still remaining comfortable? Or is it about sacrifice and giving even if it means a temporary state of lack?

Pretty ponderous.

I’ve been quiet on The Chest because I couldn’t think of anything outrageously thoughtful or uplifting to bring to you. Not very real of me, I’m afraid. I’d be the first person to tell a friend that we love each other for our reality. We love the guts – good, bad and ugly. That’s what it is to love generously. You love even when you’re not sure how, even when you’re unsure if you can. Even when it’s scary.

So I have something to get “on my chest” in this case. (I’ve been “off” The Chest for too long!) Here’s what up.

You know how you feel the day after a baby (or neighbor, or work) has kept you up all night? Function is difficult, temper is short, thoughts don’t connect, memory fails, your inner monologue fails and you find yourself saying things that would otherwise be filtered. You know in your heart that going back to bed would be the best bet, but you can’t do that because you have a home and business to run. This is what the last month has felt like for me.

I gave my husband permission to call me “zit for brains.” I have an 8mm cyst on my brain (pineal gland to be precise) and we’re trying to remain humorous about it until we know what happens next. The pineal gland controls melatonin, so among other things, I get tired quickly. I’ve been under care for a while trying to diagnose what’s going on and this was found somewhat by accident. My chiropractor believes I may have adrenal fatigue syndrome which could account for the many symptoms I’ve had in the recent past. The cyst may or may not be a part of that.

Surgery is possible, but not eminent at this point. (If you put your finger in the middle of your forehead and go in about an inch or two, that’s where the pineal gland is. They’d go in through the nose (or “snort holes” as my daughter calls them…) so at least there would be no cracking of the melon.) We should know more next month after a visit to an endocrinologist and a neurologist.

For now, we wait. (And dream up ways to find it funny.)

Part of my silence about this has been about fear. What will my clients and others think about a coach with a zit on her brain? Will they trust me? So, to be sure, I have the following very much under control:
• Honesty (my inner monologue is pretty gone!)
• An intense focus on what matters
• A desire to keep things moving forward

Loving generously is, among other things, being real, being honest, sharing one's whole self. Perhaps the zit is a gift. Here, here’s permission to uncork your inner monologue and just say what’s really going on in there.

What’s going on in your head? How do you love generously?

My Own Personal Energy Crisis

I’m an energy girl.

When I was a kid, my folks had window shades that blocked out most of the morning, but any tiny ray of light that squeaked around the shade made it right into my eyes. They’d fling open and I’d have my feet on the floor in a nanosecond, ready to begin a new day.

Since this was typically NOT the time the rest of the household was moving, it was not looked at as “a gift.” As I got older, though, being a morning person had its merits.

Recently, I’ve been experiencing some health challenges which have made getting out of bed, and waking in general, a huge challenge. Cheerful is somewhat off the table until a cup of coffee is in the mama.

This shift is tough to take, for me as well as for those who must endure me prior to 8am. I’ve tried to run during the bewitching moments so that no one else suffers. Hard to hoist the kiester.

Gas prices what they are, perhaps I'm just following the trend.

Anyone have some great ideas for this energy girl to solve her current personal energy crisis?

How do you wake ready to start the day? What's your current mantra?