Living Simply or Simply Living?

On the suggestion of another coach, I read some of Tony Robbins work. Awaken the Giant Within.

What struck me the most was his stress on the importance of making decisions. Often, I watch clients say they’ve “decided” something, but then there is no action to back it up. Tony reminded me that a decision is so much more than we toss around.

“I’d like to spend more time face to face with my kids.”
“I’d like to get a solid product line for which I’m well known.”
“I’d like to decrease my overhead.”

These are more like wishes than decisions. Tony states, “the word “decision” comes from the Latin roots de, which means “from,” and caedere, which means “to cut.” Making a true decision means committing to achieving a result, and then cutting yourself off from any other possibility.” (p.39)

When times get ugly, it becomes easier (but certainly not always more productive) to just roll with the punches and become reactive… simply living. When people ask how you’re doing, you say, “I’m doing” with no particular passion.

Grab hold and get back to what matters most to you. Then cut the rope and paddle!

Make a decision based on your core values.

Put action to the decision immediately.

Be flexible in the execution of the decision.

Don’t abandon what you’re after if the first rout you take proves unsuccessful.

To explore your core values or examine the choices you face, drop me a line. I’ll help reel you in!

Live Simply – Consuming

I’m feeling particularly “bloggy” today. Perhaps it’s the chill in the air. Maybe it’s just that there’s so much to be said for living simply. I strive for it, even if I often fail.

I was reminded of Steve Martin in “The Jerk” the other day. He’s naked and leaving his exorbitant house after losing everything in a terrible lawsuit. As he leaves, he takes a pen or something trivial and says, “and that’s all I need. Just this pen.” As he moves towards the door, he keeps accumulating things he “needs.” “And this ashtray, and this dog, and this…” Mind you, he’s naked. None of the things he’s taking with him are clothes!

I often pack for a trip like The Jerk. And then I laugh at myself. That’s not half as bad as using his method while shopping at the grocery store or at Wal-Mart or Target. I’m trying to train the kids away from the The Jerk shopping method.

The Jerk antidote? A list. (And a bit of will power.)

What’s simple consuming for you?

Live Simply - Simple Scheduling

When my volume increases, my heart pounds and my shoulders get closer to my ears than to my armpits, I know it’s time to cut back on activities.

My idea of living simply in this season for my family is to allow one regularly scheduled recurring event per person (work and school don’t count). So, the kids can have one lesson or club at a time, and we parents get a recurring extra-curricular to do by ourselves as well.

As the kids get older, I realize the expectations will probably change. Right now, our value is on training them to be good people at home and easing them into the world of influence. Believe me, they come home with enough “influence” already. “Where on earth did you hear/see THAT?!”

We do simple activities. Having people to dinner teaches hospitality. Being a guest at someone else’s home teaches them to be grateful and flexible and accepting of differences. We help at our parents’ farms, learning that everyone can contribute. Planting and harvest times are especially fun. And we have times to just be still.

What are your values for your family’s schedule? Is it living simply or something else? I’d love your thoughts.

Live Simply - Motetes

I mentioned last week that a lot of my writing is about my new mantra. “Live Simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.”

When I ponder “living simply,” a few things come up for me. First, THINGS come up. You know… stuff, crap, the junk in my closets, littering the yard, in bins. The treasures we keep that end up keeping us.

I was given a large LLBean boat bag when each my girls were born. The monogram was the same on each. Motetes. In Puerto Rico, where my mom is from, this is a slang word for all the necessary things one must have with her for security and comfort. You know, like a blankie and a teddy, maybe a toothbrush if dental hygiene is your thing.

It was a joke of sorts since my mom knew that any time we came for the day, I’d have more than a full Motetes bag of stuff with me. Babies don’t travel light! As we’ve grown past diapers and sippies and the rest, it’s refreshing to have the occasional single Motetes bag trip.

As I look at the rest of my stuffness, I realize that it’s just that, stuff. In the end, I can’t take it with me, no matter how many Motetes bags I own. Although I can’t bring myself to give it ALL up (like a monk), I have set some boundaries for myself. Here are just a few examples:

A sedan should do it. No van, no SUV, and absolutely NO station wagon.

I’ve hit “bin saturation” in my attic. No more bins. If I need to store something, it has to fit in the bins I have. No bins empty? Too bad, either chuck something or get rid of the latest “treasure.”

Digital photos take up far less space than kid artwork. We’ll be having artwork ceremonies… choosing the favs and photographing them with the artist.

One mailed magazine subscription a year. The rest of the info I can get online if I really need it.

Let’s face it, what do I really, truly need? Who is it I’m working for anyway? If I curled up either of my girls in a ball (even the 6 ½ year old!), ten to one… they’d fit in the bag.

More thoughts on living simply coming up soon.

What are your simple boundaries?

Dance in the Rain

"Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass...it’s about learning how to dance in the rain." Unknown

I love that one!

For the past two days, we've experienced a 30+ degree drop in temp and it's poured and poured. We've needed rain badly. After the first day and a half, we'd had about enough to saturate and then some. The previously cracking ground is now muddy and squishy and the Robins are loving it.

Last week my family soaked up a bit too much sun while trying to squeeze in every last drop of summer swimming and outdoor rec. The rain forced us to spend time indoors and rediscover all the wintertime activities we'd left in the attic last spring. For me it was quite welcomed. I'm sorting and purging baby clothes up there.

I have a client who's experienced a different kind of storm. It's raining orders for her business. They're coming from all over! While this is a wonderful situation, it's also overwhelming for her. With school and all it's activities starting, she feels like she's dashing around with buckets to catch the downpour! We brainstormed creative ways to make time and produce more products quickly. During the call, we moved from the perspective of "If only this were different... then it would all be better" to "Be present and focused with the blessings at hand and trust that the rest will follow."

Dance in the rain.

How can you dance in the rain of your current situation?

5 Rules

There are so many rules these days, aren't there? I try to give my kids simple directions as I drop them at school/care or to someone's house for a visit. These days, I could use a few simpler rules for myself. I've finally found my new mantra on the tail end of a few email forwards. (Wisdom comes in so many forms, no?)

• Live simply.

• Love generously.

• Care deeply.

• Speak kindly.

On another email it had the same footer... but with this as a fifth:

• Leave the rest to God.

I felt as if it had read the mind of my inner cynic who asked, "so after the first four rules don't cut the mustard, well THEN what??" My shoulders lowered with the comfort of knowing there was an answer for the gremlin in my head. It mirrored the beautiful postcard on my wall that says:

"When the day is over and you have done your best,
wait the results in peace."

I've defined the first 4 rules for my own life over and over... waiting results in peace and putting trust in something other than myself is a little foreign still (that entrepreneurial nature...), but I'm working on it.

Where in your life do you need to trust?

Hands Off

I read a newsletter article this morning called, “Are We Too Child-Centered?” from Raelee Pierce, The Noble Mother. It's about being way "hand-on" and rigorously scheduled and always down playing with the kids. I truly needed to hear what she had to say. I’m so glad I gifted myself the moment to read it. (To see the whole article, go to here )

I’m a 1970 girl. Nearly everything she wrote resonated with me. I’ve been striving for giving my girls some of the independence we had as kids and have felt guilty about it. I feel like my hands have not been very “on” my kids and that it’s somehow wrong. I’m quite preoccupied with how this summer has somehow left my house disheveled. I’m very distracted when I try to stick to a hands-on kids’ project.

What I’ve noticed is that my children are developing work ethic. They are developing creative play that mirrors my industriousness… and there is no shame in that. They are taking value in contributing to the household so that we have a tidy home AND a Mommy who has time to play as well.

When my eldest was really little, she knew that if she brought me a board book, I’d stop whatever I was doing, sit directly on the floor with her in my lap and read the book. (Honestly, how long does it take to read a board book?!) Interestingly, she wouldn’t take advantage. She’d get her fix and then occupy herself for quite some time thereafter.

I remember asking my mom to play (I was/am very social) and often she encouraged me to play solo or was too busy with household happenings or simply wasn’t inclined to play what I was playing. That was something I wanted to change in my own mothering, but I’m wondering now if I might strike a better balance. Some of my best days are those when I take short spurts of spontaneous play with the kids… following the moment and jumping in, as if summoned by some divine cue.

It’s lovely. I’d like more of that, so it’s “on the agenda” (so to speak!) :)

How hands-on are you? What would it be like to simply watch what they do when left to their own devices?