Pronoun Perspective

Last night I was introduced to a very interesting exercise. We were put in groups of 3 and then given a confrontational situation to role play. Two of us were to role play while the other observed. The one rule: we were not allowed to use the personal pronouns that referred to ourselves. Each time we did, the observer took our place.

It was amazing to realize just how many times one wants to say "I" to begin a sentence. Being brought up to use "I" statements when arguing a point, I was tongue-tied and anxious.

It took a few minutes, but after my partner began using the 3rd person ("Deb doesn't like that..."), I had an idea.

"We could cooperate?"

At first she looked confused. After all, this was a confrotational exercise. Were we allowed to cooperate?? Then, both of our shoulders softened and I saw relief on her face.

"Yes, yes I suppose we could? How shall we work this out?"

From there on, we were solution-focused rather than problem-focused. It was pretty amazing. I decided that the same thing would have happened if we banned the word "you" from the exercise instead.

I thought about spousal relationships, and angry siblings (I'm so going to use this with my kids in a couple years...), and whoo boy... POLITICS.

Where would you like to see it? Where would you like to try it?