Hands Off

I read a newsletter article this morning called, “Are We Too Child-Centered?” from Raelee Pierce, The Noble Mother. It's about being way "hand-on" and rigorously scheduled and always down playing with the kids. I truly needed to hear what she had to say. I’m so glad I gifted myself the moment to read it. (To see the whole article, go to here )

I’m a 1970 girl. Nearly everything she wrote resonated with me. I’ve been striving for giving my girls some of the independence we had as kids and have felt guilty about it. I feel like my hands have not been very “on” my kids and that it’s somehow wrong. I’m quite preoccupied with how this summer has somehow left my house disheveled. I’m very distracted when I try to stick to a hands-on kids’ project.

What I’ve noticed is that my children are developing work ethic. They are developing creative play that mirrors my industriousness… and there is no shame in that. They are taking value in contributing to the household so that we have a tidy home AND a Mommy who has time to play as well.

When my eldest was really little, she knew that if she brought me a board book, I’d stop whatever I was doing, sit directly on the floor with her in my lap and read the book. (Honestly, how long does it take to read a board book?!) Interestingly, she wouldn’t take advantage. She’d get her fix and then occupy herself for quite some time thereafter.

I remember asking my mom to play (I was/am very social) and often she encouraged me to play solo or was too busy with household happenings or simply wasn’t inclined to play what I was playing. That was something I wanted to change in my own mothering, but I’m wondering now if I might strike a better balance. Some of my best days are those when I take short spurts of spontaneous play with the kids… following the moment and jumping in, as if summoned by some divine cue.

It’s lovely. I’d like more of that, so it’s “on the agenda” (so to speak!) :)

How hands-on are you? What would it be like to simply watch what they do when left to their own devices?