I ran a 5K on the 4th of July.
I didn't break any records. In fact, in the home stretch, there was a 25 MPH speed limit sign that made my already cottoned mouth laugh to the point of nearly gagging. I composed myself straight away as my goal was to finish the race without dying or throwing up.
Having just recovered from pneumonia in early June and having scattered bits of travel and events throughout our June schedule, training was not in the forefront of my mind. Running certainly helped the stress during the week of my mom's surgery (and how hilarious to be watched by their 8 horses as I trekked up and down their winding driveway!) Despite the empowerment gained after a run, 10,000 excuses kept me from making it routine last month. Exhaustion and inconvenience were the top two.
After the first mile of the race, two teenagers passed me. I knew their ages by the "Class of" printed on their backs. There was no breeze, we were running on a gravel track through a wooded area and, for a second, I muttered under my breath. They haven't had pneumonia. They haven't had two kids. They probably slept more than 12 hrs in the last week.
It was kind of evil. I literally shook my head to knock the crap thought out. Breathing was getting really hard. So I started to pray. God, just get me to the finish line with minimal walking. I'd like not to be last, but finishing without puking is fine, too.
Then I heard Dorrie from Finding Nemo. "Just keep running. Just keep running, running, running." Logic and empathy kicked in.
How am I to know what these fine teens are up to anyway? They're here at 9am on a holiday, aren't they? Who knows what stresses befall them in this moment? Teen stresses are often much worse than puking or dying.
Then the miraculous happened. They started to walk. I passed them! I kept running and the breeze picked up for a moment. Finishing the race before two teens, I really began wondering if I had a megaphone on my inner monologue. (Scary thought.)
After the race, my 6 year old handed me a dandelion and a dead leaf. "Here you go, Mom. This is to make you feel better since you didn't win."
"Oh honey, but I did win. I just didn't come in first. Sometimes just finishing is winning." She was less than convinced.
No matter what, running has an empowering effect on me. Except, of course, when I don't do it. Then, by my own definition, I lose.
How do you define a win? What are you losing by simply not trying?
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
A Dandelion at the Finish Line
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Let's EAT! (Teleclass coming soon!)
When I've polled momtrepreneurs about the worst time of day, I consistently hear that dinnertime is a large challenge. What's to eat? When will it be ready? And, can't it just fall from the sky to my table?
Join us for a discussion of options that will help remove the witch from the bewitching hours of dinnertime.
Included in the course materials and discussion:
- Understanding what you value about dinnertime
- Meal-planning steps
- The multiple degrees of having dinner "made" by noon.
- Resources for freezer-meal options
- Your crock pot, your friend
- Resources for simple, online recipes
- Dinnertime rules for a calm table
Calm, Personal Responsibility (and Elastigirl wisdom)
I'm a fan of Wayne Dyer. He teaches a lot of life wisdom that spans all religions (providing one is open to hearing it). In one of his books focused on Chinese philosophy, Change Your Thoughts—Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao, he wrote the following:
Living Calmly
In this chapter of the Tao Te Ching, you're being advised to maintain a sense of serenity regardless of what you may see taking place around you. Moreover, you're being told that the true master knows that the ability to stay calm is always located within. From this perspective, there's no need to assign responsibility to others for how you feel. Even though you may live in a world where blame and faultfinding are endemic, you will own your feelings and actions. You will know that circumstances don't determine your state of mind, for that power rests with you. When you maintain a peaceful inner posture, even in the midst of chaos, you change your life.
The wisdom of this verse of the Tao Te Ching prompts you to know that you have a choice. Do you want to be in a state of confusion or to have a tranquil inner landscape? It's up to you! Armed with this insight, the Tao master doesn't allow an
external event to be a disturbance. Lao-tzu tells you that assigning blame for your lack of calmness will never bring you to the state of being that you're striving to attain. Self-mastery only blossoms when you practice being aware of, and responsible for, what you're feeling.
I speak a lot about replacing chaos with joy. The truth of the matter is that chaos will inevitably exist. One may joyfully, or simply, more calmly, weather the chaos. Sometimes I'm successful at controlling the chaos of my home or work (like routinely feeding the kids so they don't get crazy or keeping a prioritized list of deadlines in a work calendar). But other times, it's completely out of my hands (someone gets sick, the bridge is out, or my Internet or phone is on the fritz).
Understanding and accepting the concept of personal responsibility is key to enjoying myself. I own my reactions and subsequent choices. Blaming others or situations is futile. Trying to change that which is out of my control is pointless as well.
The same story is evident in the Bible. Jesus calms the storm, but as we study, we ask, "was it the storm outside or the one within that was calmed?" And in the midst of situations, it's helped to ask that of myself. Which is the calm-able storm?
Even closer to where I am today, I think of the movie, The Incredibles. As the villain, Syndrome, is flying away with their baby, the mom superhero is yelling at her husband superhero, "BOB! DO something!!!" He responds, "I can't throw anything, honey! I'll hit the baby!" Now for the personal responsibility part. She then says, "Throw me. Bob, THROW ME!!!"
I'm not made of elastic like our superhero mom (who, incidentally, caught the baby and floated to safety by making her body into a parachute), but I'd like to think I could work on being more creative (and flexible!) and personally responsible for my solutions.
How about you?
Monday, June 23, 2008
The Blame Flame
Last week my mom had surgery. She's fine, but the surgery was unsuccessful. As my dad and I waited for a day until her discharge from the hospital, we rode a coaster of anger, disappointment and yes, blame.
The doctors did what they were supposed to do. The surgeons suspected something going wrong during the procedure, weighed the risks and stopped, erring on the side of caution. This means we'll have to try again in 2 months to fix the problem. It means that the surgery was a big, expensive pain and physical and emotional inconvenience. It means that we have to wait even longer for her to feel well.
He and I discussed possibilities of other doctors, other options, what-ifs, whys and scenarios ending in "heads will roll." After running through a flaming battery of murky-watered woulda coulda shoudas, we settled into a place that was much more calm, crisp and clear.
On the way to go get Mom, Dad said, "I've been thinking about surrender." He went on. "Not the giving up kind. I mean the there isn't always an answer kind."
"You mean the letting go kind, right?" That was it. It's pretty freeing.
In a Michael J. Fox interview I read some time ago, he spoke of blame as going inward. I pictured it like heartburn. He then asked the interviewer, "Is it worth the effort to put the attention on blame?"
We came to a new place. "It is what it is and we move on from here." Without all the blame burning us up, we can focus our energies on Mom and ideas for moving forward, rather than a futile "who dun it."
What do you choose to let go of? What's available to you once you surrender?
Friday, June 6, 2008
Permission to Yell, "UNCLE!!!"
Wikipedia defines yelling "uncle" as "a cry of surrender."
That cold I wrote about last time… headed way into my lungs. I called a friend when I was still quite baritone-voiced, pretending to be fine. I was clinging to the notion that if I didn’t acknowledge that it hadn’t gone away, then I would just be well.
I’m all for the power of positive thinking, but I should know by now when to throw in the towel. When the doctor suspects pneumonia along with an ear infection and some bronchitis, it’s time.
My friend gave me permission to cancel 4 days of my life. My shoulders lowered and my body surrendered.
Ah... permission... Permission to stay home, permission to stay in bed. Permission to disappoint others for the sake of my health. Permission to be tired and acknowledge the fatigue. Permission to not jump up as soon as I felt a smidge better. ("That's the antibiotic talking!!! Go lay down.") It was quite a gift.
She also ratted me out to the angel moms in our circle and I became the lucky recipient of a meal at my doorstep for 3 consecutive evenings and a multitude of prayers, well-wishes and calls to see if I needed something. It made all the difference in my recovery.
In what part of your life is it time to yell, “UNCLE?”
Share it with us! Comment below!
Stormy Gratitude
So I'm sitting here with my teeth in my mouth, watching the weather change by the minute. Large gusts mixed with sunny calm keep passing through. Like most of the midwest, we're under a tornado watch until the next snow.
I hear this "crack, scrape, boom..." after the latest gust and figure it's my planters jumping into the lap of our quaint porch swing. Walking outside, I find that my neighbor's maple has lost a gargantia limb and dropped it on the hood of their truck and across the width of our street.
I'm very thankful not to have been running, driving or otherwise on the street. No one was hurt. I'm quite thankful that it wasn't a more southern limb that would've hit one (or both) of our houses. I like skylights and all, but it's not in the cards for this weekend.
As my neighbor arrives to assess the damage, he's thankful it wasn't the yellow Corvette.
:) It's the little things, isn't it?
What went just far enough in the right direction to make your day better?
Valuing Your Summer Schedule - Calendar Tool
That's the title of my upcoming teleclass (June 11). There's still one more spot if you'd like it. Email me at julie@julzoflife.com.
~Annie Dillard
Even if you can't play this time, check out this great tool, Google Calendar! (calendar.google.com) You can create a calendar for each member of the family, or multiple groups within (mom and kids, mom and dad, just mom). I even made one for the sitter schedule. They're all color coded. You can print a master with everything or just some of the bits.
Check it out! If you have something you really like to keep everyone in your house moving in a positive direction, let us know!
