Friday, November 7, 2008

Love Generously - Surplus in Scarcity

I’m still exploring this one. It’s been a long explore. The word “generous” keeps stumping me. Maybe it’s our current environment. Maybe it’s that I’m digging too deeply into the concept (i.e. if one has an abundance of something and gives extra away, is it as generous as one who has just a little and shares anyway?)

So I switched gears and began exploring love instead. Love languages to be precise. I’ve confirmed my own and have been trying to be more conscious of knowing and respecting the languages of those around me.

Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages outlines these:
• Words of Affirmation
• Quality Time
• Receiving Gifts
• Acts of Service
• Physical Touch

So, what I’ve been thinking is that to truly love generously, one has to be willing to know what the receiver would most like AND be willing to provide that even when it’s not something one’s good at, or enjoys doing, It also may mean giving a resource you aren’t certain you possess, like extra time.

My 6 year old absolutely loves making looper pot holders and plastic cross-stitch doohickies. That stuff drives me batty. Sometimes loving her generously means being sure that it’s in the bag that goes with her to Grandma’s house, or making sure that her very patient dad is around to help her before she embarks on a new project. Other times, it’s stopping whatever I’m doing and sitting “pretzel leg” on the floor to help her through the beginning or end of whatever poorly written directions she’s trying to follow.

Later, she tells me it was the very best part of her day. Those measly 15 minutes. And I think to myself, “how stingy can I BE?” Yes, I’m a busy lady. Yes, I often feel a shortage of time and other resources, but the little girl’s language is quality time. A smidge of my day spent right in her face.

Can do.

Will do more often.

How about you? What is it that you could give? What “foreign language” are you willing to learn?

p.s. My daughter loves me generously right back by understanding when I say “no” to her craft and then asking if she can help me make dinner.

1 comment:

Julie Ford said...

More generous love...
When everyone in the house gets new socks and underwear before you do.

(Only evident to the laundry do-er in the house...)